Five Months Later...

Looks like I'm back.

I went to England in March, it was ballin'.  Three pictures are below:

This was the best day of my life.
Stanage Edge is my version of unadulterated bliss.  

We want to be Celtic warrior princesses.
She's wonderful and beautiful and I love her very very much.

This man's name is, in fact, Rich Quick.
He also thought I looked like Zooey Deschanel and
wanted a picture taken with me.  Unfortunately for Sir Quick,
we used my camera, and he thinks my real name is Rose.

 Extra picture because he's English and fly.

Pressureeee

most often to be funny and/or interesting.  But a person can't be funny and/or interesting every second of their lives... that makes this blog disingenuous.  and life exhausting.  and explains why i haven't posted anything decent.

right now my life isn't boring, but it doesn't carry over to written word well.  also, i'm not much of a writer, i would rather tell you a story than write it down.  Essentially, i wait tables, attempt not to get yelled at by a psychotic co-worker for doing something right (an attempt that usually fails...), and then flee to my house where I sit on my couch and eat carefully measured sweets and watch The Wire with my roommate.  The two of us mourn the dust our degrees are collecting, but do nothing to change the fact.

The only job I want is actor.  Preferably English film actor, but I'd settle for American too.  However, I have become so discouraged by not finding any sort of audition in the area that isn't community theatre (and thus, unpaid and at night ((when i make money)) and with poopz) that I have sort of given up on this dream.

Only I haven't given up a bit, I just have no place to channel my energy.  Damnit.

There is a trend to overshare without sharing at all... people reveal everything they want you to know but nothing that makes them vulnerable or necessarily tells you who they really are.  Probably because we're not entirely sure ourselves.  Or maybe I'm wrong and we're exactly who we project ourselves to be.

So, I'm not always funny or interesting, but that's life.  I've tried very hard to stop forcing my life to go in a funny or interesting direction.  Maybe ordinary is just what I'm meant to be, and there's nothing wrong with being completely and utterly not special.  Or. maybe Focus Features will call me tomorrow and tell me they want me to star in the definitive version of Pride and Prejudice.  Probably not though.

Santa, I would like a polar bear for Christmas, please.

Currently Reading:  Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows and Breakfast at Tiffany's.  Capote's Holly Golightly annoys me much less than Audrey Hepburn's.  But it should be acknowledged that I have  no use for Audrey Hepburn.
Currently Watching: the first season of The Wire.  That show is awesome.  And preventing me from sleeping at night.
Last Meal:  Lasagna and Pinot Noir at Extra Virgin in Shirlington.  Some sort of "Nutella ravioli" for dessert.  Didn't disappoint.
Currently plotting: how to get to the United Kingdom in March for a couple of weeks.  Some good must come from my degrading and useless, albeit flexible, job.
Currently Obsessing Over:  Warm doughnuts, Weight Watchers, the poinsettia I bought as a pet (her name is Ginny), my new sweater with a polar bear's face on the front.
Current Annoyances:  Windchill, 9 means bitter temperature and mood.

Food for Thought (since your stomach probz needs a break)

“Our great democracies still tend to think that a stupid man is more likely to be honest than a clever man, and our politicians take advantage of this prejudice by pretending to be even more stupid than nature has made them." - Bertrand Russell

Harry Potter and the Lamest Bacon

At the age of 22 years, 11 months, and 12 days old I still cry when I realize that the world and school of Harry Potter isn't real.  And that I'll never get to play Hermione in the movie adaptations.

A New Vernacular

1.  Wang.  It's so back, baby.  It really fits so many situations so well.  It's stronger than "butthead", but less emphatic than "dick", and adequately describes someone who is annoying the crap out of you, but you still like them anyway.  I rarely if ever address people as slang for genitalia, but "wang" really works for me.  That's what she said.  Used in a sentence:  Rob is such a wang.

2.  Blam-o.  It's so dumb, but I like it.  It's like "nailed it" or "boosh" but less crude and more obnoxious.  I "blam-o"ed a table yesterday and they quite enjoyed it.  Used in a sentence: no need.  It stands alone.

3.  Made of win.  Describes something you really like.  Used in a sentence:  "Man, these thigh-high boots are made of win!"

Why dirty a plate when you can violate both human conduct
 and health codes by dipping fries into the ketchup bottle? 

un-related note: what is WITH the guy that writes those awful little "inspirational message" on the inside of Dove chocolate foils?  What a wang.  I guess they're supposed to uplift the chocolate-eater, but there's really no need!  There's chocolate!  I got one (of many) today that said, "Every woman is a super (role) model!"  What a cheeky little message that implies that not only am I not cute enough to be a super model, AND reminds you to be an upstanding woman.  Not just a greedy little glutton made of win.  If I were in charge of writing those asinine little sayings I would just put a tiny speaker inside that would scream bloody murder every time you unwrapped it.  Blam-o.  Got American obesity on lock.  Plus hilarious home video footage.

I love gelato