Wednesday, December 22, 2010

Pressureeee

most often to be funny and/or interesting.  But a person can't be funny and/or interesting every second of their lives... that makes this blog disingenuous.  and life exhausting.  and explains why i haven't posted anything decent.

right now my life isn't boring, but it doesn't carry over to written word well.  also, i'm not much of a writer, i would rather tell you a story than write it down.  Essentially, i wait tables, attempt not to get yelled at by a psychotic co-worker for doing something right (an attempt that usually fails...), and then flee to my house where I sit on my couch and eat carefully measured sweets and watch The Wire with my roommate.  The two of us mourn the dust our degrees are collecting, but do nothing to change the fact.

The only job I want is actor.  Preferably English film actor, but I'd settle for American too.  However, I have become so discouraged by not finding any sort of audition in the area that isn't community theatre (and thus, unpaid and at night ((when i make money)) and with poopz) that I have sort of given up on this dream.

Only I haven't given up a bit, I just have no place to channel my energy.  Damnit.

There is a trend to overshare without sharing at all... people reveal everything they want you to know but nothing that makes them vulnerable or necessarily tells you who they really are.  Probably because we're not entirely sure ourselves.  Or maybe I'm wrong and we're exactly who we project ourselves to be.

So, I'm not always funny or interesting, but that's life.  I've tried very hard to stop forcing my life to go in a funny or interesting direction.  Maybe ordinary is just what I'm meant to be, and there's nothing wrong with being completely and utterly not special.  Or. maybe Focus Features will call me tomorrow and tell me they want me to star in the definitive version of Pride and Prejudice.  Probably not though.

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