Visits to the golden arches were basically the only reason my two-year old self existed. I remember sitting in the back seat of our Subaru begging my dad to pull over so that I could eat chicken nuggets and play at the Play Place. I loved the ball pit with its faint stench of puke, care of sugar-high toddlers, and the gaudy plastic tunnels covered in a thin film of boogers and ketchup. However, my parents were more concerned with providing their tiny midget of a daughter with nutrition, rather than the euphoria of the ball pit (remember how much it hurt to get pelted by one of those suckers?!) so McDonald's happened rarely.
On one particular day, my dad had been worn down and brought the giant 90's video camera along to document my adorable consumption of fast food and play with whichever crappy plastic figurine that they dumped in the Happy Meal. By the third nugget I'm literally shrieking with delight at my good fortune and my father turns the camera on.
Dad: Hey Scooter, look at me!
Tiny Ashley: DADDDDD NUGGET LOOK AHHH YUMMM!!!! BARBIE!?!?!?
*Incoherent gleeful babbling happens for a good five minutes before he goes in for the kill*
Dad: You know what, we could have your wedding reception here. Would you like that? You could eat chicken nuggets at your wedding!!!
Small Moron: YES!!!!!!!!!! I CAN BE A PRINCESS AND A BRIDE!!!!! *runs around in a circle waving fries overhead*
Dad: Look at me, Princess. Do you promise to have your wedding here!?
Tiny Ashley: YES!! I CAN BE A PRINCESS AND A BRIDE AND EAT NUGGETS ALL DAY!!
Dad: Wait, say "Daddy, I promise to get married at McDonald's"
Tiny Ashley: DADDYYYYYY I PROMISE TOooo get... get.....
Tiny Ashley: MARRIED!!!! LIKE A PRINCESS!!!!
Dad: ....at McDonald's
Tiny Ashley: AT MCDONALDSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!! BARBIEEEEE!!!
Dad: JULIE IT'S ON CAMERA! ASH IS HAVING HER WEDDING AT MCDONALDS!!!!!
Mom from off-camera: Cool. Baby, sit down, please, and eat your dinner.
Tiny Ashley: MOMMMYYYY! I'M GETTING MARRIED AT MCDONALDS!!!!!
Mom: Yes you are. Daddy's going to hold you to it, too.
So that will be the food. Luckily, my dad cries while watching "Say Yes to the Dress" so we'll go to Kleinfeld so he can pick out my wedding gown. He's convinced he's better than Randy.
One of my good friends is getting married a week from Saturday. She has impeccable taste so I'm really excited to dress up, gawk at her princess gown, and eat loads of delicious Italian food. Plus she's so infectiously happy.
"What lies behind us, and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us. " -Emerson