Pressureeee

most often to be funny and/or interesting.  But a person can't be funny and/or interesting every second of their lives... that makes this blog disingenuous.  and life exhausting.  and explains why i haven't posted anything decent.

right now my life isn't boring, but it doesn't carry over to written word well.  also, i'm not much of a writer, i would rather tell you a story than write it down.  Essentially, i wait tables, attempt not to get yelled at by a psychotic co-worker for doing something right (an attempt that usually fails...), and then flee to my house where I sit on my couch and eat carefully measured sweets and watch The Wire with my roommate.  The two of us mourn the dust our degrees are collecting, but do nothing to change the fact.

The only job I want is actor.  Preferably English film actor, but I'd settle for American too.  However, I have become so discouraged by not finding any sort of audition in the area that isn't community theatre (and thus, unpaid and at night ((when i make money)) and with poopz) that I have sort of given up on this dream.

Only I haven't given up a bit, I just have no place to channel my energy.  Damnit.

There is a trend to overshare without sharing at all... people reveal everything they want you to know but nothing that makes them vulnerable or necessarily tells you who they really are.  Probably because we're not entirely sure ourselves.  Or maybe I'm wrong and we're exactly who we project ourselves to be.

So, I'm not always funny or interesting, but that's life.  I've tried very hard to stop forcing my life to go in a funny or interesting direction.  Maybe ordinary is just what I'm meant to be, and there's nothing wrong with being completely and utterly not special.  Or. maybe Focus Features will call me tomorrow and tell me they want me to star in the definitive version of Pride and Prejudice.  Probably not though.

Santa, I would like a polar bear for Christmas, please.

Currently Reading:  Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows and Breakfast at Tiffany's.  Capote's Holly Golightly annoys me much less than Audrey Hepburn's.  But it should be acknowledged that I have  no use for Audrey Hepburn.
Currently Watching: the first season of The Wire.  That show is awesome.  And preventing me from sleeping at night.
Last Meal:  Lasagna and Pinot Noir at Extra Virgin in Shirlington.  Some sort of "Nutella ravioli" for dessert.  Didn't disappoint.
Currently plotting: how to get to the United Kingdom in March for a couple of weeks.  Some good must come from my degrading and useless, albeit flexible, job.
Currently Obsessing Over:  Warm doughnuts, Weight Watchers, the poinsettia I bought as a pet (her name is Ginny), my new sweater with a polar bear's face on the front.
Current Annoyances:  Windchill, 9 means bitter temperature and mood.

Food for Thought (since your stomach probz needs a break)

“Our great democracies still tend to think that a stupid man is more likely to be honest than a clever man, and our politicians take advantage of this prejudice by pretending to be even more stupid than nature has made them." - Bertrand Russell

Harry Potter and the Lamest Bacon

At the age of 22 years, 11 months, and 12 days old I still cry when I realize that the world and school of Harry Potter isn't real.  And that I'll never get to play Hermione in the movie adaptations.

A New Vernacular

1.  Wang.  It's so back, baby.  It really fits so many situations so well.  It's stronger than "butthead", but less emphatic than "dick", and adequately describes someone who is annoying the crap out of you, but you still like them anyway.  I rarely if ever address people as slang for genitalia, but "wang" really works for me.  That's what she said.  Used in a sentence:  Rob is such a wang.

2.  Blam-o.  It's so dumb, but I like it.  It's like "nailed it" or "boosh" but less crude and more obnoxious.  I "blam-o"ed a table yesterday and they quite enjoyed it.  Used in a sentence: no need.  It stands alone.

3.  Made of win.  Describes something you really like.  Used in a sentence:  "Man, these thigh-high boots are made of win!"

Why dirty a plate when you can violate both human conduct
 and health codes by dipping fries into the ketchup bottle? 

un-related note: what is WITH the guy that writes those awful little "inspirational message" on the inside of Dove chocolate foils?  What a wang.  I guess they're supposed to uplift the chocolate-eater, but there's really no need!  There's chocolate!  I got one (of many) today that said, "Every woman is a super (role) model!"  What a cheeky little message that implies that not only am I not cute enough to be a super model, AND reminds you to be an upstanding woman.  Not just a greedy little glutton made of win.  If I were in charge of writing those asinine little sayings I would just put a tiny speaker inside that would scream bloody murder every time you unwrapped it.  Blam-o.  Got American obesity on lock.  Plus hilarious home video footage.

I love gelato

My To Do List

1.  Go for a run (hasn't happened since August... unless you count sprinting down Washington Boulevard because I underestimated how long it takes to walk to work)

2.  Lose twenty pounds.  The numerous blondies coated in ice cream, constant stream of wine and/or tequila, and shameful lack of green vegetables probably has something to do with it.

3.  Buy over-the-knee black boots.  Best replacement for pants I've seen yet.  This one has the best success rate of everything on this list, which is a problem in and of itself.

4.  Get rid of the mice living in our kitchen and basement.  I need a boyfriend so that I could just feign fear and then he'd heroically step up to the plate and murder these rodents for me and my three wonderful housemates.  However, since the dreamy boy I met on the Metro last week has yet to call me, I foresee a lot of neat and clean murdering in my future.

5.  Unpack my room.  Having roommates you want to hang out with all the time is a double edged sword.  My clothes are strewn about my enormous room in an appalling manner.

6.  Figure out how to order new contact lenses without having to pay for an expensive eye exam.  My last pair turned into my only pair and are currently enabling the typing of this titillating entry.

7.  Rally to Restore Sanity on Saturday.  So excited about this!

8.  Do some laundry.  I'm scared of the basement (see point 4) but my work shirts are starting to smell like feta cheese... and by "starting to smell" I mean, "have smelled".

9.  Buy food.  Edible things currently in my possession: jar of pb, box of cereal, bag of baby carrots, box of Constant Comment, quart of ice cream, and half a bottle of cheap wine.

10. Befriend the bartenders across the street.  For obvious reasons