it's a Grand Ol' Flag y'all

and it stoutly protects my right to eat a salad in my bed and watch House on hulu while wearing a t-shirt I received upon 5th grade graduation.  Because 5th graders should absolutely need a special ceremony when going from the 5th to the 6th grade, and 11 year olds and 22 year olds should absolutely be capable of wearing the same sized t-shirt.

I stress-ate about four pounds of fried food in Canada.  America how I've missed you.